“I can feel your presence here with me, suddenly I’m lost within your beauty…” – Mercy Me
How have I lost my faith?
The sweetest and truest faith is the faith of a child. It is unmarred by the world, still fresh from the pure rivers of heaven. Untainted and complete.
I was raised a Catholic. Performing the sign of the cross was powerful enough for me to dispel the darkness of my nightmares. A simple cross took the fear away.
I used to thank God for every single joy in my life. I used to ask and believe without a doubt that my desire will be fulfilled. I used to pray and cry as I do so, knowing that someone listens to me.
I had one dream of Jesus that I still remember with surprising clarity. In my dream, he was sitting beside me, helping me with a coloring book. He was using a green Crayola. My greatest fear then was the darkness. I woke up to a pitch-black room, all alone, but I was unafraid. Because I knew, with absolute faith, that Jesus was with me.
How have I lost my faith?
With every year, fragments of my innocence were taken from me. As worldly wisdom began to filter into my soul, I began to see the world’s many facets through the broken lenses of my heart.
I forgot the wholeness and purity of the faith I never even realized I had. My vision became skewed and blurry… I discovered filth and the utter forgetfulness it can give..
Until he came again…
“And I know that I can find You here
‘Cause You promised me You’ll always be there
Times like these, it’s hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You’re near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind
My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I’m here
You never know why You’re alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You
And I know I don’t have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?
No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free.”
-Mercy Me
