Yearning
"If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place.. Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow, I’ve never been more homesick than now…"
Have you ever felt meaningless and fleeting? In all likelihood, yes. But have you ever felt meaningless and fleeting when you already know that much depends on you and many can be affected by your decisions?
It’s something of an irony, yes… But when you are in a place you do not truly belong to, then the obligations you bear cannot take the place of your heart’s desires… It is much worse when you do not truly know your own heart.
…
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I’ve been learning about Koreans for a year now. I think I’m already one of those people who actually believe they know a lot… when they only know a third of the truth.
But I have more respect for them now, for each and every one of them: the students, the mothers, the employees, the vice presidents of enormous companies, the Christians, the unmarried women…
Every one of them has a unique story to tell. Every one of them belongs to that conservative race where virtue and virginity are still one and the same. And every one of them wants to learn English.
I have come to care for that unassuming race. I have formed many friendships among them, some of which will probably last for life.
So if anyone wants to know why I rarely see my old friends, it is because of them. In the past year and in the few more to come, the Koreans were, are, and will be my life.
However, though I love these people, I cannot truly see myself as living among them for the rest of my life. My heart yearns for a place far away… a place where stories come alive… a place with green and beautiful forests… a place of peace and love and family… a place where race and color have no bearing…
That place lives in my dreams.. But I cannot see how it cannot live in truth as well…
