It’s amazing how a blog can be so powerful that it can reach millions of people. I’m talking about Brian Gorrell and his explosive revelations. If you are unaware of this issue, then try this link: http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/.
I know he’s gay but I have nothing against gays. Gays are just as normal as the rest of us and deserve just as much respect.
"If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place.. Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow, I’ve never been more homesick than now…"
Have you ever felt meaningless and fleeting? In all likelihood, yes. But have you ever felt meaningless and fleeting when you already know that much depends on you and many can be affected by your decisions?
It’s something of an irony, yes… But when you are in a place you do not truly belong to, then the obligations you bear cannot take the place of your heart’s desires… It is much worse when you do not truly know your own heart.
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I’ve been learning about Koreans for a year now. I think I’m already one of those people who actually believe they know a lot… when they only know a third of the truth.
But I have more respect for them now, for each and every one of them: the students, the mothers, the employees, the vice presidents of enormous companies, the Christians, the unmarried women…
Every one of them has a unique story to tell. Every one of them belongs to that conservative race where virtue and virginity are still one and the same. And every one of them wants to learn English.
I have come to care for that unassuming race. I have formed many friendships among them, some of which will probably last for life.
So if anyone wants to know why I rarely see my old friends, it is because of them. In the past year and in the few more to come, the Koreans were, are, and will be my life.
However, though I love these people, I cannot truly see myself as living among them for the rest of my life. My heart yearns for a place far away… a place where stories come alive… a place with green and beautiful forests… a place of peace and love and family… a place where race and color have no bearing…
That place lives in my dreams.. But I cannot see how it cannot live in truth as well…
I’m in for the long haul..
For the next few years this running around won’t stop. I’ve begun to love people I never knew nor imagined I would ever know before. I’ve begun to tread a path where the past is bound to fade.
I still bear the fear of incompleteness, and I must not forget that… but I’m moving… and moving… and moving ever farther.
One day I will be run to ground by those who truly love me. But only the persistent will succeed. And I believe no one is persistent enough for that. I will be free, yet desolate in my freedom.
The gates are wide open, but I’ve yet to close one more door.
No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free.”
The tiger sleeps here
You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don’t understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I’m still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now…
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When I do not know what to say or write, Mercy Me gives me the words to say..
For weeks I have been running around. I’ve had no time for rest, no time to think and simply reflect.. I realized that this part of me is necessary and I need to understand the whys and hows of my thoughts and emotions. I badly needed time to just sit and talk to the Lord… in peace.
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Is the Lord God Almighty
Just watching videos on the net have made me realize how completely lacking in education most of us are. There are many who can lay claim to a bachelor’s degree or an mba or a ph d, or whatever else there is, but few can actually say that they have a broad range of information stored in their brains.
Everyday, every minute, hundreds of things occur. Thousands upon thousands of moments ceaselessly twist and form the threads that create our world. Though we would wish that we can somehow immerse ourselves into that realm of never-ending knowledge, it is naturally impossible.
The changes that occur everyday create so many things. One of them is misunderstanding. For centuries, many forces have battled against each other simply because of misunderstanding. The stories of our world are rife with bloodshed and destruction.
Only a definite few can say that they know and understand both battling forces. But they, small in number as they are, cannot possibly hope to change the structure and mindset of the world they live in.
It makes one think that this is simply the way we were created. That this endless chaos is the masterpiece that God has made for us.
The world is an amazing and confusing place.
It’s amazing what you can find on Youtube. I happened on a video entitled "Crazy Christians". It was about this Phelps family who were hardcore Baptists and who are now referred to as the most hated family in America.
It just surprised me how completely different their way of thinking is. They were supremely convinced that the kind of faith they have is exactly what God wants us to understand. They had a very narrow-minded point of view of what they find in the Bible. Their manner of reasoning was simply… crazy.
They were beyond rationality. It was frustrating.
A lot of people, professionals and ordinary civilians alike, have tried to analyze and discuss the reasons and possibilities why this family thinks and acts in such a completely incomprehensible manner. Some have even gone so far as to stay with the family for some weeks and live among them, to have a first-hand experience of the way the family interacts.
In many ways, they were normal people, but they simply had a completely twisted point of view of God.
You can look for them in Youtube.
There is but one touch that can lift a spirit from the dark recesses of evil where it is submerged. The touch of holiness.
“I’m trading my sorrows, I’m trading my shame. I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.” – Trading my Sorrows
This morning I was carrying the curse of inexplicable fury. There was a raging power in me that was destructive and terrible. It had the ability to make me lose my focus and the sense of honest goodness that somehow still lives in me. I was both furious and controlled, joyful yet seething with righteous anger.
But one breath from the sacred one that loves us replenished the dry earth of my heart with his living water of joy. Yet he also filled me with a hunger that none in this world can satisfy. Nowhere else have I found true and everlasting completeness.
So, while my heart looked sideways at someone unworthy of it, he was calling me to his greater love. While I tarried with dark dreams and ignoble desires, he was inviting me to the refreshing river of his infinite mercy.
“You’re my friend and you are my brother, even though you are a King.” – As the Deer
While my eyes yearned for the sight of one undeserving face, he was asking me to look to him and see the incomparable beauty of his grace.
Jesus lives.
Am I mediocre?
Among the many who claim to love you, am I just another?
Have I no special place, no prior claim?
Perhaps they find in you that which I also see. Perhaps they all can tell how real you are, how true.
I have not chosen to love you yet, because it seems to me that either you have been in love with someone all this time or you have never known what it is to love. These two choices leave me confused. If you are the former, then who could it be? Yet if you are the latter, perhaps I would understand.
You have so many friends and so many hide or try to stop their hearts from loving you. You know this to be true. You are a master at keeping them at a distance. Never misleading them or giving them hope for something that you cannot give. Perhaps you guard your heart unconsciously against all those who wish to claim you for their own. Or perhaps you’ve already given it, to someone no one knows.
I cannot love you yet. Because like you, I guard my heart with care. Rarely have I known a glimpse of what love can be. Never has another so completely mastered me.
If I have no place, no claim, then perhaps I can still hope. But uncertainty has never been a state I desired. It is better for everything to be clear between us now. Will I be yours? Will you be mine?
Or will it always be you there, me here; the only thing between us is the speculation that we may be.
